tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76109089672651696232024-02-08T07:03:37.382-05:00May I Have Your Attention Please.....I'm the proud momma to a wonderful 2 year old little boy, am pregnant with our 2nd child, and just decided to quit my job and join the ranks of the SAHM.
Life is gooood.MomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-88322011128674758062010-04-24T21:55:00.002-04:002010-04-24T22:00:51.729-04:00Small VictoryI didn't cry at all today. I consider this a small victory.MomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-66483939803262461012010-04-20T17:47:00.003-04:002010-04-21T22:19:42.676-04:00D&CWent in for the D&C yesterday. Wasn't sure what to expect but the nurses and doctors at Christ really made an awful situation as comfortable as they could. The procedure was scheduled for 7:45am so we had to be there at 6:15, which means we had to wake up at around 5. I hate early mornings and the only time I ever look forward to getting up that early is when we're leaving for vacation. This experience killed my love of waking up early. <br /><br />When we got to the hospital, they checked in me, had me change in to a gown and then the nurse asked me tons of questions. You know, the norm - how far along were you, have you had any bleeding, are you a diabetic, etc. etc. They checked my temp and my blood pressure and then the good drugs doctor came in (the anesthesiologist??) and asked me even more questions. The nurse hooked up my IV and put a sea-sick patch behind my ear to help with the anesthesia. Then came the good drugs - the ones that the nurse promised would make me feel like I was on a cruise. Guess what, they didn't make me feel like I was on a cruise but they did make me forget the pain for a few minutes. <br /><br />They wheeled me in to surgery and covered me with warm blankets and socks and the last thing I remember was telling my OBGYN that the next time around, I was coming in to his office for ultrasounds every week. He agreed and then I was out. I bet he thinks I won't remember his agreement but I'll remember. I'll remember.<br /><br />The next thing I know, I was slowly waking up in recovery. My mouth was dry, my throat hurt and I wasn't pregnant anymore. We were home by 11am. 5 hours later and we were home. I much prefer my previous visit to Christ where I stayed for days, had my stomach cut open but got to leave with an amazingly beautiful baby boy. <br /><br />The last 48 hours have been rough. The hospital sent home information on miscarriages and a memory box for anything baby-related. When we were at the hospital, I had to sign paperwork on what I would like done with the ashes of the "baby." the tissue is sent to pathology for testing and then to a local cemetery for cremation. Was this okay or did we want something else done with the ashes? We chose not to keep them - now all I can do is question whether or not that was the right decision. My dr told Andrew that he didnt find much tissue in there during the procedure so this just validated our decision to move forward with the D&C. I don't know what I should believe - was there ever a "baby" or just tissue that didn't form much further? If it was just tissue, I'm okay with the hospital's plan. If there was a "baby" I feel like we need to call and reverse our decision so we can bring the baby with us. Either way, I just wish I didn't have to think about it anymore. <br /><br />I'm going to go now - bed time is rough so I think I'll take a klonopin and hope it washes my worries away for awhile.MomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-76839322566895656622010-04-19T21:27:00.002-04:002010-04-19T21:41:01.145-04:00A LossWe got bad news today. We lost the baby.<br /><br />My therapist has always said it helps to write, so I decided I needed to write about everything I'm going through... Please forgive me, some of my thoughts may not make sense or sound a bit crazy but its what in my head and right now, I just need to get it out. <br /><br />My head hurts.<br />My eyes hurt.<br />My heart hurts.<br /><br />I was really ready for another baby. During my pregnancy with Owen, I spent 1/2 my time worrying that I was going to miscarry and everything turned out beautifully with him. This time, I tried to think positive, enjoy the journey, cherish every bout of heartburn and indigestion and enjoy going to bed at 8pm. F*C* THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!This is what I get for being positive!!!!!!!!!!! <br />All my life, I've been a negative nancy. Maybe not externally, but internally. "this isn't going to work out, don't get your hopes you, you will probably fail" and then when things worked out, I got to be surprised and excited. Not this time, this time I go against my grain and think positive and everything turns to sh*it anyway. <br /><br />This is my fault. I know everyone says not to think that way and that it isn't my fault, but it is. Here is a list of why its my fault:<br />1. I am on antidepressants<br />2. I took tylenol pm<br />3. I drank diet pop<br />4. I am selfish<br />5. I took sudafed.<br />6. I stopped going to the Catholic church - yes, God punishes. <br />7. I got ppd and am therefore a horrible mom and don't deserve another child. I should feel lucky that God gave me one in the first place.<br />8. I quit my job. Secretly, this baby figured we couldn't afford him/her so he/she jumped ship.<br />9. I'm not a good enough mom.<br />10. My house isn't clean enough - the baby thought I was a slob and jumped ship so he/she wouldn't have to live in this hole. <br /><br />I just want this to all be over. <br /><br />I'm hungry.<br />My head hurts.<br />I'm tired.<br />My eyes hurt. <br />This sucks.MomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-86132724717225202242010-04-11T17:15:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:29:57.619-04:00Oh my....what am I thinking??OMG - what am I thinking?? What makes me think I have what it takes to be a Stay at Home mom?? What makes me think that this is a good idea?? <br /><br />I have the patience of well.....a pregnant, hormonal woman, and have a 2 1/2 year old who likes to test that patience every chance he can! Right now, he is throwing his slinkly across the family room over his dad's head and proceeding to climb on/over/through said dad (who mind you, is trying to watch The Masters) to get the slinky. He is doing all this with no pants on (well, underwear only) because he just went potty and absolutely refuses to put bottoms on. Opps, dad just got hit in the head with the slinky and the O-man now wants to play horsey. <br /><br />WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN ITS JUST ME AND HIM ALL DAY LONG AND HE WANTS TO CLIMB ALL OVER ME??? <br /><br />The Daddy-Guy is my salvation on the weekends. He is the discipliner - the "mean-cop", the potty attendant. Do I have what it takes to take those roles on when I stay home....??<br /><br />I need to start practicing my best "Wait til your father gets home!!"<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-28173943622538935012010-04-01T12:46:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:30:11.949-04:00I did it!So I did it - I quit my job yesterday. Between the pregnancy and my raging anxiety, I had to. I just couldn't give 100% anymore. And right now, my company needs 120% from the person in this role. There is a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. <br /><br />My boss was supportive - said she understood and thought the move was "courageous." My teammates were happy for me but upset. Everyone of course wants to know why I'm leaving and where I am going. It's so nice to say "I'm going home." I can't wait to stay at home with my little guy for awhile. He and I can enjoy the summer together and who knows, maybe eventually I'll get fed up with staying home and try something new. That's the beauty of this situation right now - I have OPTIONS. <br /><br />I am sooooo thankful to all of my family and friends who have spent countless hours listening to me vent, cry, scream, etc. You all are the reason I was brave enough to take this leap! <br /><br />And I am especially grateful to my amazing hubby. Its hard going from two incomes to one and for a man who enjoys his electronics and has big plans for our financial future, I think this decision has him nervous. But we will be fine! <br /><br />Plus, I've signed up to be a Dove Chocolate Discoveries Chocolatier. Not sure what that is?? Stay tuned....I am sure I will be writing a lot about this venture on my blog. <br /><br />I'm also going to start working on my mad candy-making/baking skills. Everyone knows my ultimate goal is to one day own my own bakery so be prepared for lots of pictures of all of my creations and the ups and downs of running my own business!<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-49874015688227758852010-03-10T09:17:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:30:29.705-04:00StupidDear E (circa 2013):<br />Do not do this again. Do you hear me? DO NOT. In about 3 years when this new little one is an energy-filled toddler running around the house all the time you may, just may, get that "i want a baby" sparkle in your eye.<br /><br />*SLLLLLLAAAAAPPPPP*<br /><br />Wake up woman! NO! DO NOT. If you do, I will commit you - I swear! The exhaustion, the nausea, the increased sense of smell that makes you want to hurl anytime you smell anything food-related - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. <br /><br />Adopt. Just don't put yourself through this misery again! <br /><br />Love,<br />E (circa 2010)MomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-50903376088909544432010-03-04T20:52:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:30:51.509-04:00PregnantYes bloggers, that's right - I am pregnant. I'm due around Halloween and feeling so gross right now. <br /><br />So since this is my blog and I can do what I want, I'm going to whine about it. <br /><br />I'm only about 5 weeks along but am already feeling like poo. In fact, I think I have the opposite of morning sickness. All day sickness. Worst in the evening.... Anxiety raging, stomach upset, heartburn like mo-fo, headaches, and tired. I don't remember getting this sick with Owen this early. I remember starting to feel gross around 6-7 weeks maybe....but 5?? This is going to be a really long 9 months. Argh.<br /><br />Someone remind me why I did this again??<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-87297194814788226932010-02-16T20:04:00.001-05:002010-04-11T17:31:24.758-04:00Feeling GuiltyAh yes, the G word. How you rule my life you bastard. Today I am feeling guilty because I think poor Owen spends too much time at daycare and that they are raising him, not me and Andrew. Literally, he spends at least 9 hours per day at day care 5 days a week so thats 45 hours per week. Take away the time he spends sleeping and we have about 1.5 hours with him in the evening (1.5*5=7.5 hours) plus our weekend time (12 hours per day about *2 = 24 hours) 24 + 7.5= 31.5 hours. Thats 13.5 hours less than daycare!!! <br /><br />So when he does stuff like use manners or pee in the potty, I can't help but think "daycare taught him that, not me" and it makes me kinda sad. There are days where I love that he's in daycare - interacting with other kids, learning spanish and japanese, doing art projects, etc. Things that he wouldn't get if he was home all day with me. But still, my kid is awesome because of the awesome daycare he goes to, not me....and that makes me sad and feel incredibly guilty.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-79594094289577264312010-02-14T15:59:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:31:36.035-04:00Happy Valentines Day Cont.So, where was I? Ah, yes Junior year memories. <br /><br />I was telling Andrew earlier how I was reminiscing about the snowstorm and he reminded me that we either drove or walked uptown during that storm to have breakfast uptown and it was like deserted. That whole weekend was amazing - we didn't have to worry about missing work or shoveling driveways. We didn't have to worry about having enough diapers in the house or letting the dog out in the cold. We could literally just curl up under blankets for HOURS without moving and no one would care. *sigh*<br /><br />That year, we decided to go to Destin for spring break. Other friends were going any place there would be a good party but a group of us really just wanted to relax over break and not worry about having to party 24/7. Plus, Sarath needed to study for the M-Cat. So we rented a cool little condo in Destin and 8 of us spent a week on the beach. It was Me and Andrew, our friends Sarath and Betsy, Betsy's sister and her boyfriend, Chris, and our friend Samantha. We got up way early in the morning, packed up two cars full of our stuff and drove the 12+ hours to Destin. This is one of the first times I remember really feeling like an "adult". This was really the first vacation I had ever taken without my parents and it was up to us to figure out directions to the condo, to get around Destin and, the most frustrating part - pay ing for own dinners out LOL The trip ended up being positive and negative - some friendships never returned to normal after but it was Andrew and I's first vacation together and for that reason alone, it holds a special place in my heart :)<br /><br />Junior year ended and we both moved home for the summer. Andrew was working for Marysville Parks Department and spent the summer mowing lawns, mulching and getting extremely tan and buff. Hmmmmmm yum. I spent the summer working orientation, then nannying, and finally taking on an internship at the Cincinnati Business Courier. Let me share with you one of the scariest moments during the summer. <br /><br />It was sometime in June and I had been trying to get ahold of Andrew all evening. He finally called me only to tell me that he had been taken to the hospital! He had been up late the night before playing video games (of course!) and was exhausted during work that day. He had plans to meet up with his parents for dinner that night but was so tired that he decided to stop by the gas station and get a couple caffeine pills during the afternoon. He headed home from work, took a shower, and started to drive to meet his parents. He hadn't been feeling real well since taking the pills - his heart was racing and he was feeling neausous, dizzy and just overall, awful. He ended up having to pull over during his drive and call 911 because he felt like he was going to die. They took him to the hospital and told him that he his heart was racing so fast and if it had gone any further, he would have had heart damage! I was so worried about him and he was almost 3 hours away! A couple days later, I was home and again, try to get ahold of Andrew. I had called his cell phone about a million times and even called his house a million times with no answer. His parents had gone out of town and I immediately had these horrible images of him laying on the floor mid heart-attack with no one there to help him. So, I, like an loving significant other would do, called the cops. LOL Yes, I called the cops and asked that they drive over to my boyfriends house because his parents were out of town and he had been hospitalized a couple days before and I was trying to get ahold of him and was worried. And you know what, like any good small-town police department - they went to the house! Andrew was there and in good health, but completely caught off guard and the police showed up! Everything was fine but Andrew made me feel so bad for calling the cops! He didn't understand how worried I was! I guess he had been at a friends playing video games and his phone was on silent which is why he didn't get my calls. I tried to explain over and over again that I did it because I was worried about his health but he still didn't seem to get it. We ended up getting a big fight that night and both went to bed angry. The next night, he showed up at my house dressed in a suit, carrying 2 dozen roses as an apology for getting so upset. He finally realized that I had only done it because I had been so worried and that he was wrong for getting mad. I like it when he admits he's wrong :)<br /><br />My husband would now like me to make him carbonaro so to be continued...<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-44014056776791104722010-02-14T05:50:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:31:45.475-04:00Happy Valentines DayIt is way early on Valentines Day. I'm battling this crazy cold and was laying in bed, tossing and turning, listening to my husband snore and thinking about all of the wonderful memories I have of the two of us when I decided to get up and write a very special Valentines Day blog in honor of my awesome, sleeping, snoring husband :) <br /><br />Here are some of my favorites:<br /><br />The day we first met I was a sophomore in college and had just transferred to Miami. My ex-boyfriend George and I had made a "lunch date". I lived in Ogden Hall, right above Bell Tower so who knows why but George and I went all the way down to Martin dining hall down by Flower and Hahne. We got our lunches and slid into a booth in the dining hall when George recognized one of his fraternity brothers and decided to call him over to sit with us. It was Andrew, or "Roush" as they used to call him. Andrew and I probably just said "hi" and the three of us sat there in awkward silence over our food for the next 20 minutes. I thought he was cute but he had an air of confidence about him that made me believe he could get any girl he wanted and was probably a bit of a "player" Boy how wrong I was, but more on that later.<br /><br />I ran in to Andrew a 2nd time that summer at a party my friends Kendra and Nikki were having at their apartment. Somehow, they had invited Michael Bonham, who had invited Brett Taylor and "Roush". At the time, I was "talking" to a guy named Andy and barely even spent any time with "Roush". The party came and went and I didn't think twice about the guy from the party. <br /><br />Now, skip to the fall of my junior year. As fate would have it, the previous year I had made arrangements to live with Kendra on campus in Gamma Phi's sorority hall. Long story short but sororities at Miami didn't have houses, but the University so graciously *sigh*cough* sets aside a block of dorm rooms for only a sorority and whoever the members chose to live with. So after K's horrible roommate experience the previous year, we had decided it was safer to live together. Late in our sophomore year, Kendra decided that Miami wasn't the place for her and transferred to Sinclair. Therefore, I was left without a roommate and could a.) take my chances of being assigned to a room with a random person the next year or b.) accept the invitation from Angie across the hall to live with her in Ox-commons, seeing as her previous roommate had also changed her mind. So, I was living in Ox commons - 1603 Ox commons maybe? In a one room apartment with Angie, a girl I knew only in passing and who I wll forever remember for her smoking habits, shingles outbreak, and crazy-ass boyfriend who I found passed out on our couch one morning in his tightie whities. Awesome. <br /><br />I moved in to Miami about a week early because I was helping out with Orientation and needed to be there for transfer orientation (which ironically enough, Kendra and I had skipped when we transfered in haha!) and for this mini refresher orientation they put on for the freshman. I knew my friend Mike was moving in early to his fraternity house and called him one night out of the blue to see what he was doing. He told me that he was at a party at 1604 Ox commons! "No way - that's right next door to me, I'm coming over!" I told him as I invited myself into his night. This was the night I really saw "Roush". <br /><br />Over the next couple weeks, I'd saunter over to his place whenever I heard a party going on or would wave flirtaously as I walked past and he was standing on the porch smoking a cigarette. I told Mike that I was falling hard for "Roush" and asked that he help coax it along. Sure enough, one night during a party, "Roush" and I ventured over to my apartment where it was a little quieter and we could "talk." Within a few minutes of sitting down on the couch, he romantically leaned over to me and said "I really want to kiss you.....but my mouth is dry" Awesome. Smooth move Romeo. So up I went over to the counter and got him some water. Most girls would have been like "whatever!" and walked out but not me, I got him that water so I could get a kiss. And boy what a kiss it was! He was a good kisser - phew! I would have really regretted the whole water thing if he wasn't. After that, it's all kinda blurry. I remember him telling me he wanted to date and when I asked if he wanted us to date exclusively or not, he said exclusively and my heart melted. Remember earlier when I mentioned how I thought he was a bit of a "player" the first time I met him based on his confidence level alone? Yeah, well I soon came to find out that I was wrong, so so wrong. In fact, I was his first girlfriend! His first kiss! He wasn't that player I initally pegged him to be - he was innocent!<br /><br />I will always look back on Junior year and smile because of meeting and falling in love with Andrew. Our first real date was dinner at Kona with Amy and her then boyfriend, Allen. I remember our first Valentines day together- he made me dinner and my favorite dessert (tiramusu!) and we watched The Godfather. I remember meeting his parents for the first time and thinking how much his father looked like my HS band director, Wayne. I remember one weekend when all of our roommates had gone home and Oxford was hit with a snowstorm so we were literally snowed in. We made a little path from his apartment to mine and spent the entire weekend sleeping and watching movies. Oh and every Sunday we'd wake up and eat blueberry pancakes while watching Super Troopers. It became "our thing". <br /><br />To be continued.....<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-56251682733727677082010-02-07T21:07:00.001-05:002010-04-11T17:32:17.208-04:00I suck and here's whyI suck at keeping up with this blog. It seems like at the end of the day I barely have enough energy to brush my teeth, let alone come up with an interesting, witty account of my daily activities. Someimtes I feel like I must just be lazy. Thousands of moms do what I do everyday - commute to & from work, work a full day, make dinner, take care of the kids, etc. But they make it look so easy. How come I struggle? How come there are some nights where it takes everything in me to read books and say prayers with my son?<br /><br />Sometimes I blame it on my craziness. The anxiety, the depression, the ocd. Maybe its the unrealistic expectation I set of myself to be perfect in everything I do. I literally cannot let myself fail. If I come close to failing, my axiety spikes, my brain attacks itself and I shut down.<br /><br />Most people don't understand mental illness. Its not really taken seriously.<br /><br />You're depressed? Oh just get over it! Smile! Life is good.<br /><br />Your nervous? What are you nervous about? Don't be nervous - everything will work out. It will be ok.<br /><br />Why are you obsessing over this or that? Just get over it already! I'm so sick of hearing about it.<br /><br />In reality, some of us can't get happy, or get over it. We can't move on.<br /><br />I'm one of those people. I'm coming out of the closet with this, if you will. I can no longer pretend it doesn't exist. I can no longer brush it under the rug and ignore it. This is more than PPD. This is not a bubble that will burst and life will be sunny again. This is something I will struggle with my entire life.<br /><br />So in an attempt to deal with this new revelation in an adult-like manner, I plan to whine about it. This blog will now be my outlet. Hopefully by putting my thoughts and feelings out for the world to see I will somehow release a bit of the struggle and maybe even realize I'm not alone or crazy at all.<br /><br />Wishing you peace and self acceptance.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-70955041162724529482009-06-16T13:07:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:32:56.551-04:00Back to it.I've joined Weight Watchers. Again. For like the 3rd time. *sigh*<br /><br />3rd times the charm right??? And this time I'm joining and going with my 2 lovely ladies who promise not to let me quit! RIGHT JESY AND JAMI??? We are going to be skinny bitches! Yes - we are!<br /><br />Basically, I'm right back to the weight I was when I joined WW last summer. Lost 15 lbs then, thought "i can do this on my own" was completely wrong, gained it all back and here I am. It's not that I eat all of the "wrong" foods per say. I think I just eat too much of the "okay" for you foods and not enough of the "great" for you foods.<br /><br />So here I go again - VRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! I'm off!<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-55202016422801825972009-06-08T10:03:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:33:23.748-04:00Me-MuggedWOW! It has been FOREVER since I posted on here. Sorry 'bout that y'all. Work has been in one word...CRAZY. Literally. CRAZY. I'll get to that some other time but for right now, I want to share a new phrase I learned this weekend with you all.<br /><br />Me-Mugged.<br /><br />I love it. Have you ever heard it? Let me use it in a sentence for you. "Wow. I've never been Me-mugged so much in my entire life" or "That chick just me-mugged me!"<br /><br />Basically "me-mugging" is the art of judging another based on their looks alone. I was at a wedding with some friends this weekend and one of them has lot of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tattoos</span>. She was wearing a dress so some of her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">tattoos</span> were showing on her back and arms. Well, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">uber</span>-catholic wedding attendees kept staring her up and down like she was the devil-incarnate. Seriously, folks? Have you never seen someone with <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">tattoos</span> enter a church before? Are you going to judge her based on her looks alone? Forget the fact that she is one of the most intelligent beings I have ever met. She's kind and funny too! OH and GET THIS PEOPLE!! She's a REPUBLICAN! And a pretty big one at that.<br /><br />Why do we do this to each other?? Seriously? Why all the judging? Why do we even care that someone else has piercings or <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">tattoos</span> or dresses differently then us? Is it because we are that insecure in our own skin that we have to constantly compare ourselves to others in an effort to make ourselves feel better? <br /><br />Now, I am not perfect. I have been known to me-mug people now and then. In particular, skinny-ass barbie-like girls dressed perfectly and carrying a purse that cost more than my car. Am I jealous? Yes. Do I secretly wish I could scream "Eat a pizza, *itch!" at them? Yes. Is it fair to me-mug them just because they are perfect? No.<br /><br />So the moral of the story folks is this? Stop judging each other! The other person knows you're me-mugging them and me-mugging is almost worse then really mugging them. Next time, just smile and thank God for filling this world with uniqueness.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-11957207441259978522009-04-10T14:19:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:33:39.663-04:00CollegeI was thinking a lot the other day about college.<br /><br />I was thinking about how much fun college was - having friends just down the hall, being away from mom and dad but still being able to spend their money, taking interesting classes (or semi-interesting...or incredibly boring but absolutely necessary therefore you had to act interested, etc.), staying up late, sleeping in, parties, boys, parties, etc. I had such a great time!!!!! I met so many great people, learned a ton, and just overall had what I imagined to be the best time of my life.<br /><br />But you couldn't pay me enough to go back...<br /><br />Honestly, I'm a dork. I love what I refer to as my "old person" life. I love snuggling in to bed at 9pm with a good book and reading until I fall asleep (usually by 10:30) no matter what day of the week it is. I love grocery shopping and organizing my coupons. Even though it's a pain in the butt sometimes, I love owning my own home and really being able to make it my own vs renting and feeling like each space was just a stepping stone until the next one came along. I love not feeling pressure to go out and "party" or act/look a certain way in order to fit in. I love working and knowing my job actually makes a difference and that people count on me vs internships where all you do is "busy" work. I love being married and being able to be myself around my significant other and knowing he loves me vs constantly questioning if a boy likes me or doesn't like me and if I need to act a certain way to get him to like me, etc. I love going to church and getting involved there vs sleeping in on Sundays until noon. I LOVE being a mom and hearing my son say "momma" and laugh and play and grow and learn vs worrying about getting pregnant. I never worry about getting pregnant -- I hope for it.<br /><br />I know that my life is going to take turns and curves and ups and downs but overall, things are good right now.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-82868728099265841852009-03-31T16:06:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:33:58.160-04:00I'm the problem!Andrew and I have been watching what we spend our money on pretty closely over the last couple months so we can figure out where in the heck it is all going and cut back on certain areas.<br /><br />Well, I've figured out that I'm the problem. He will disagree I'm sure but I seriously am. In general, I think women tend to spend more money then men. Don't you? I mean, up until a month ago, Andrew wore the same pair of khakis almost everyday to work. Occassionally he'd throw on a black pair of dress pants but in general, he'd just wash the khaki's every 3-5 days so he could continue wearing them. Men's styles don't change with each season. They don't need to buy specific shoes to go with a specific outfit. No! 1 pair of brown shoes. 1 pair of black shoes and they are set! I on the otherhand run through clothes like no other. Especially in the last year! I mean I'm not the same size I was a year ago - I lost a bunch of baby weight over the summer but my shape is different after having Owen so I can't wear the same clothes I had before I was pregnant. Therefore, I had to purchase new clothes for work. And new clothes for "relaxing" Clothes cost money.<br /><br />I notice that I end up picking stuff up to that I need - panty hose, hair gel, hair spray, new shampoo, face soap, face lotion, astringent, etc. that Andrew never needs! So automatically, I am taking out more from the family pot then he is!<br /><br />Now, Andrew seems to always "want" or "need" the bigger ticket items. The game's, the blu-rays, the big tvs, etc. But those are things that last for a long time. Its not something you run out of, like shampoo. So he may get a big ticket item every couple years but overall, I think my "little ticket" items add up to a lot more than his big ones.<br /><br />Also, I like to have healthy eating options in the house. I like having fresh fruit and veggies to eat. Andrew would probably live off of fast food, mac and cheese, pizza, and hamburgers if he could. Living off of fast food ($1 menu!) and mac and cheese would probably be a lot cheaper then the healthy stuff I insist on buying.<br /><br />I also have more health issues then him. My immune system basically sucks so I always end up getting sick at least 2-3 times every winter which calls for a trip to the dr. This year so far, I've had an ear infection, a stomach bug, a sinus infection, and yet another ear infection. I've been to my primary care physician three times, urgent care twice, and an ENT once. I've been on antibiotics 3 times, pain pills once and herbal supplements twice. I'm also still in treatment and on medication of my PPD so I've been to see that doctor 3 times this year so far. And I'm in chiropractic care for my neck (which was hurt in a car accident over 10 years ago!) and have been to see him at least 10 times already. So, if you add that all up, I've proabably spent a good $800 on medical stuff already this year. Now, spring is coming and I've started taking a multi-vitamin and drinking OJ everyday so I'm hoping to avoid getting sick anymore. But still.<br /><br />So you see, I'm the problem. I am the reason we have no money. What an awful realization to come to. *sigh*<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-16020414432526002742009-03-30T16:10:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:34:18.350-04:00My Son Ate Ketchup For DinnerNo, this isn't some funny chain email where you pick out your birthday and it matches up to a word, and then you pick out your favorite color which matches up to another phrase, etc. This is real life. My son ate ketchup for dinner last night. Now, before you go calling child services on me, here me out.<br /><br />We made fish and chips for dinner (aka fish sticks and fries lol) and had tarter sauce and ketchup to go with. Well, I put some fish and fries on his tray sans tarter and ketchup. But he saw daddy and I having ketchup and of course pointed and whined at it until we gave him some. At first I really thought he would do okay! He stuck his fry in the ketchup and moved it towards his mouth ready to take a big bite. Out came the fry from his mouth, minus ketchup, but still very much intact as a full fry. This went on and on and on until the ketchup was gone. He then grunted and whined for more. After slight hesitation, I put more on his tray and told him that was all he was getting and needed to eat his fish. About 5 minutes later, more whining and grunting. I told him that he wasn't getting anymore ketchup and stood my ground. He then proceeded to throw his milk on the ground and refused to eat anything else on his tray. Nothing more I could do. He would not give in. So he ended up eating ketchup for dinner. *sigh* I am so getting the mother of the year award.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-88979219407718770442009-03-18T10:46:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:34:51.382-04:00Blah DayDo you ever just have blah days? I'm having a blah day and I don't know why. I hate when I can't figure out what is bothering me. I also that I can't just accept an off day now and then without questioning whether or not my meds are working still and getting scared that I'm backpedaling in regards to my ppd recovery.<br /><br />I guess part of my blah day is that another member of my HR team resigned yesterday. I love this girl uber much and hate to see her go. She is the sweetest person - always willing to help, always (almost) has a smile on her face and is so funny. I actually hired her a couple months after I started here so she has always been synonomous with our company to me. I honestly cannot imagine this place without her. It scares me. And with her leaving, it makes me wonder what I'm missing - should I be looking for a job too? What would I do? Where would I go? I hate hate hate starting a new job - I hate the pressure of being the "new girl." I hate not knowing anything and having to ask a million questions. I hate that people don't know who you are and therefore have no idea whether or not you're a "get it done" person or a "sit on your butt and be lazy" person. It's exhausting. Plus, you have no friends so you eat lunch alone everyday. I spent enough time being the "new girl" growing up because my parents moved so often. I guess I just don't want to do it anymore.<br /><br />I'm blah because of the weather. I'm ready for warmth. This off and on crap is really getting old.<br /><br />I'm blah because of the house - it's never clean! There is always something to do - paperwork to sort, bills to pay, sweeping to be done, laundry, groceries, etc. Grrrrrrrr. I can't wait until Owen is big enough to do chores. He was washing my cabinets the other day with a tissue - that was kinda cute. Maybe he's ready to help out? Wait.....hold up.....did that tissue have a booger in it? Oh great!!!!! Now I gotta clean the cabinets. Crap.<br /><br />So anyway - just having a blah day. What do you do on a blah day to cheer yourself up?<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-64588682613156824072009-03-16T13:05:00.001-04:002010-04-11T17:35:34.978-04:00IRSOh IRS, how will I pay you? Let me count the ways...<br />1. Sell my liver on the blackmarket.<br />2. Hook it on the corner of 22/3 and st. rt. 48<br />3. Rob a bank<br />4. Sell all of my personal belongings on Ebay<br />5. Not feed my family for the next 2.5 months. A good diet, yes. Will my son and husband like it? No.<br />6. Stand near the highway with a homeless sign. Actually, maybe a "I need to pay my taxes so I can continue paying your mortgage" sign might work better.<br />7. Force my child into modeling since he is such a ham in front of a camera.<br />8. Ask for a nice big bonus check from work (hahahahahah riiiiiiiight)<br />9. Ask for an IOU from the IRS (hahahahahahahahahaha even funnier than #8)<br />10. Put it on a credit card.<br />11. Empty out our savings account.<br />12. "Forget" to pay our mortgage for a month. Hey - it works for everyone else right?<br />13. Get a 3rd job.<br />14. Leave my son home alone all day to save on daycare costs. 1.5 is old enough to stay home by yourself right?<br />15. Ignore the fact that I owe you money until April 15th and pray for a miracle between now and then.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-35151470291569199892009-03-12T21:23:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:36:16.226-04:00What do I wanna be when I grow up?How long have we been asking ourselves that question? Since we were like 5 maybe? And how many answers have we all had to that question over the years?<br /><br />"I wanna be a teacher"<br />"I wanna be a ballerina"<br />"I wanna be a policeman"<br />"I wanna be a business-woman"<br />"I wanna be a reporter"<br /><br />Well, I have always had one consistent answer to that question.<br /><br />I wanna be a mommy.<br /><br />I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. I couldn't wait to grow up so I could have babies and take care of them. And now I am one. And some days I look at myself in complete awe that I finally got what I wished for.<br /><br />But lately. Lately, I've been questioning if I am the type of mother I always pictured myself being.<br /><br />Here's the thing: We only get to do this once. We only get one shot at raising our babies. It's not like we can hit the restart button and try again. This is real. This is important. This is not a dress rehersal.<br /><br />So I go back and forth. Do I want to quit my job and be a stay at home mommy? Or do I want to continue working and be a working mommy?<br /><br />If I become a SAHM, then my life would slow down. I wouldn't feel like I was always in a rush to get to the next destination. I could keep the house a lot cleaner, get laundry done faster, feed my family healthier meals. I could take Owen to the park in the spring and to the pool in the summer. We could go for long walks and jump in leaves in the fall or stay inside with hot cocoa and movies in the winter. We could build blanket tents in the family room or play legos in the playroom. I could teach him how to cook and bake and we could have fun painting and reading. I could join a playgroup or take him to the children's museum. Or the aquarium. Or the zoo. Or the library.<br /><br />But am I the slow down type? I read blogs online like: <a href="http://blog.cjanerun.com/">cjane enjoy it</a>, <a href="http://barefootinthekitchen.blogspot.com/">barefoot in the kitchen</a>, and <a href="http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/">nienie</a> everyday and just drool over the thought of being able to be like these women.<br /><br />But I'm me. Am I like them at all?<br /><br />If I stay a WM, then my life...well...continues on like it is right now. The negatives: I'm always going somewhere, coming from somewhere, or needing to go somewhere. My weekends are all about getting caught up from the week, not spending time with my family. Cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, sleeping. I'm never caught up - I'm always behind. My son sees me for a few minutes in the morning and a couple hours in the evening. The positives: I'm helping people. In HR, I get to make people feel better about their work, explain their benefits, help them get issues resolved. I get to make a difference in their lives. I'm making money. Money that we use to go on vacation, buy new clothes, have nice cars, go out to dinner, etc. I'm teaching my son the value of women in the workplace. I don't want him to grow up thinking a woman's place is in the home. I've always been about women's rights and having men see us as equals and by working and climbing the ladder, I can be the type of woman he can proud to have as his mom. A woman who is hard-working, determined, honest, self-assured. A woman who knows what she wants and doesn't stop until she's satisfied.<br /><br />But what do I want? What will make me satisfied? What will make me happy?<br /><br />When I was home with Owen right after he was born, I couldn't wait to go back to work. I needed the adult interaction. I needed the brain activity. I felt like the days crawled by because I couldn't really do anything. Andrew came in the door and I bombarded him with "how was your day, what did you do, here's the baby" Am I going to do that to him everyday if I decided SAHM is the way to go? Will I loose my ability to hold an adult conversation and end up asking everyone if they need to go potty or want some juice?<br /><br />If I stay a WM, will I regret it? Will I regret the time I would have spent with my son? Watching him grow and helping him become a man? Will I miss out on this precious time in his life and look back wondering "what if?" Will I blame myself one day when he gets in trouble at school because I wasn't there to teach him better? Or will I thank myself because he's outgoing and smart and take the credit because I sent him to the best daycares where he got to interact with kids and start learning at a young age? <br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />What do I wanna be when I grow up?<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-61496252230356848442009-03-09T21:50:00.000-04:002010-04-11T17:36:34.426-04:00Weekend WoesSo, my weekend basically sucked. How was yours?<br /><br />Friday night was good - the BIL (brother in law) came over for pizza and some hanging out. It was nice to see him - he is so busy all the time that we hardly ever get to hang out.<br /><br />Saturday was kinda lazy - slept in, played outside, relaxed, etc. Before I knew it, it was like 8 pm and I was still gross from being outside and had compltely missed meeting my salon friends at the bar to celebrate Allison's 21st bday - whoops! I owe her a drink!<br /><br />Sunday. Sucked.<br /><br />Owen didn't sleep well at all Saturday night and we knew he was sick because he has breathing really heavy and had a bit of a temp. So, Andrew stayed home with him when I went to church and grocery shopping. On my way to the store, I got a call from my dad saying that they were going to put our cat, Tess to sleep. She has been sick for awhile with diabetes and they had to take her to the emergency vet office Saturday because she wasn't eating or drinking. Turns out her liver was enlarged and her blood sugar was in the 500's. Not good. So rather than put her through more pain, they just had to her put down. I know it seems silly, but as I sit here writing I'm almost in tears thinking about it. I mean, the poor baby. She was our first cat. My mom didn't like cats until we got Tess and since then, between the 5 of us, we've had 7 cats. She was such a sweetie and absolutely adored my mom. My mom is of course a wreck having lost her kitty. RIP Tessy-Woo. We love you. Give Buffy and Annie our love.<br /><br />Got home around noon, gave Owen lunch and laid him down for a nap. He only slept for like an hour and then he was up and completely inconsolable. He would not stop fussing and didn't want to be held, didn't want to eat, didn't want to lay down, etc. So we called the pediatrican and my dad (next best thing!) who both told us to go to urgent care. So, we packed up and off we went.<br /><br />Sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. Right before we got in, Owen's fever spiked again so we gave him some tylenol. They finally called us back where we got to meet THE NURSE. Oh dear, THE NURSE. First, let me tell you that when we took Owen's temp at home it was only 98.8 degrees. Let me also tell you that he had just gotten sick that morning. He had a bit of a runny nose the day before but nothing to worry about. Moving on.<br /><br />We proceed in to the examining room where THE NURSE collects all of our information and looks at Owen with a curious eye. It was a "there is something wrong with you" look. Well, no crap. He doesn't feel well. Thanks. We tell her about the slight fever, the cough, the tugging of the ear, the fussiness, etc. She needs to get a temp and of course wants to do it rectally. We strip him down and as she's taking it she goes "oh mom.....yeah, it's up to 103." WAIT - BACK UP!! WHAT?? First, 103?? Our thermometer at home said 98. She tells us not to use the kind we have and that we need to just take it rectally because of his history with having a febrile seizure. Second, "OH MOM??" whats that all about?? Oh mom my butt - dad is sitting all of 2 feet away! How come she didn't say "oh dad" like its somehow my fault that my poor child is in pain and suffering! It's all my fault that our thermometer sucks. It's all my fault that it got up to 103. Thanks alot lady. My therapist and I will have a whole nother topic to discuss this week - mom guilt and why I suck at being a mom. Awesome.<br /><br />Next, THE NURSE counts his breaths and says he is up to 80 per minute. Woah. Crazy. Scary. She then says (to me of course because dad must be invisible) "anytime his breathing is over 60 in a minute you want to call you pedatrician right away" to which I reply "yeah we did, he said to come here."<br /><br />"Oh."<br /><br />THE NURSE then freaks me out because she is acting all hyper-worried and says "we need to move him to a closer room - I don't like having him all the way back here" Great. Freak me out. what's going to happen to him??? By this time, I'm feeling like a complete failure in the mom department and am worried out of my mind about my little guy. Maybe things would have been better if YOUR DANG OFFICE DIDN'T MAKE US WAIT 2 FREAKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!! *sigh*<br /><br />We get moved to a new room where they hook this little thing up to his toe that measures his heart rate and oxygen level. Heart is beating like crazy of course because of the fever (170-180 beats per minute) but his oxygen is good. Of course, he hates this thing on his toe and is throwing a complete fit because he wants it gone.<br /><br />THE NURSE rushes in with a dose of ibuprofen (knowing we just gave him tylenol) and says that the doctor wants him to have both right now to really work on getting that fever down. We're also trying to get him to drink apple juice or eat a popsicle. Apple juice = good. Popsicle = "stop trying to shove that thing at me mom! I don't want it!"<br /><br />So we sit and snuggle for awhile until the Dr comes in. She is not as hyper as THE NURSE. Thank God. She says his left ear is infected and his chest is tight so we need to do a breathing treatment.<br /><br />Flashback to last month. Breathing treatment at his pediatrican's office. 4 grown adults. 1 toddler. Lots of screaming, kicking, name calling, etc. And I'm not referring to the toddler here. *sigh*<br /><br />So THE NURSE comes in with the breathing thing. I get up on the table and put Owen in my lap. Andrew attempts to hold his hands down. THE NURSE holds the mask over his nose and mouth. Craziness ensues. Screaming, kicking, crying, trashing. Someone passing by probably thought we were killing the kid. My word.<br /><br />The Dr. also wants a chest xray. So, off we go to radiology. He screams through that too, of course.<br /><br />THE NURSE comes back in, checks temp. It's still high. *sigh*<br /><br />Dr. comes back in - says the xray looks okay so they are going to give him amoxicillian for his ear and send him home with an inhaler for the chest.<br /><br />THE NURSE comes back in with inhaler, proceeds to talk to us like we are 5 years old describing how to use the thing.<br /><br />Dr. comes back in - negates her first statement about xray. Tells us the chief radiologist looked at it and there is a little something in his left lung. Could be a bit of collape (WHAT???) or a bit of pneumonia. Oh, but don't worry -the amoxicillan will help. Thanks Doc.<br /><br />THE NURSE then continues to insult our intelligence by treating us like we're 5. She tells us that we really need to stay on top of this because he's on the downward spiral and we really need to follow up with his pediatrican in 24-48 hours. Thanks nurse. We aren't bad parents - this freaking started this morning (i really don't think she believed us!).<br /><br />THE NURSE also warns us that if Owen gets 1 more lung infection, it would be considered "Reactive Airway Disease." WHAT??? What is this?? OMG - a disease?? How did he get it? What is it? What will it do to him? Oh my....<br /><br />People. It's asthma. ASTHMA. It was written on the paper they sent home with us. Are you serious? Couldn't THE NURSE just have said "asthma" instead of freaking me out like that? I swear! Did she miss the class in nursing school on how to keep parents calm and maintain a good bedside manner? She either missed it or she failed miserably.<br /><br />Finally, we leave. Almost 5 hours later. Oh and it's Sunday night - all of the pharmacies are closed. Awesome. And we haven't eaten since lunch. We're all starving. Owen get's a cheeseburger happy meal from McDonalds. Mom and Dad get chinese. Shovel food in. Owen's off to bed, dad is off to find a 24 hour drug store. Mom wants to collapse. Dad find's said drug store about 30 minutes away near West Chester.<br /><br />Side note here - do you remember the yummy pink medicine that we used to take as kids when we got ear infections??? Well, Andrew and I have been wondering where that has been since Owen hasn't gotten any yet. Turns out, it still exists. You just have to ask the pharmacist to flavor the amoxicillan cherry. For $2.99. WHAT?? I have to pay extra now for the yummy pink stuff, otherwise I get this disgusting white crap that my son refuses to take?? Whatever. Charge it.<br /><br />While Andrew was tackling the great "Operation Antibiotics" I proceed to pass out on the couch. My inlaws got here about 10 - thank goodness for them. They are staying here until Tuesday to help us with the little guy since he can't go to daycare yet.<br /><br />We give Owen the antibiotics and some more tylenol and off to bed we go. For 3 hours. At that point we had to get up to give him ibuprofen. Back to bed for 1 hour. Up to do breathing treatment. Off to bed for 3 hours. Tylenol. 1 hour, breathing treatment. See the pattern? Needless to say, I'm tired.<br /><br />So I apologize if non of this post makes sense, it is 10:30 pm. I'm exhausted. And I'm trying to kill a few more minutes until I have to go in and give the little man Tylenol. And do this breathing treatment.<br /><br />See you in 3 hours.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-68538755905688240222009-03-03T20:17:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:36:59.356-04:00This Little Light of Mine.....Just went out.<br /><br />Well, the weekend happiness has faded away. Things are back to sucking. Such is life, right?<br /><br />For starters, I had to go up a bra size. Yes yes, I know - this is usually a good thing. But not when it's the around size, not the cup. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Awesome.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />Second, our bank account has $18 in it. Until Friday. Awesome.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />Third, my chiropractor just became out-of-network on my insurance, therefore I can no longer go to him. My out of network coverage is only 60% after you pay the deductible, which is $2000. Can't do it right now. So, all of the progress I've made on my neck is wasted. Awesome.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />Well, it was good while it lasted.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-29384043594648866382009-03-02T09:20:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:37:15.570-04:00Great Weekend!I had a really great weekend and wanted to share :)<br /><br />Friday night my sister and her boyfriend came over. We ate pizza, cheesy bread, and cookie sundaes and watched Don't Mess with the Zohan. What a stupid movie. I mean seriously - so stupid it was funny. I will never look at hummus in the same way though! LOL<br /><br />Saturday morning I got up and went to Gymboree with my little man. We had a fun hour of playing, crawling, climbing, jumping, singing, and dancing. Phew! It was exhausing running after him for an hour! I worked up a sweat LOL But it was a ton of fun :)<br /><br />After that we went to IKEA. I heart Ikea. Have I mentioned this before? I mean seriously, if I could redo my house using all IKEA stuff, I would. It's cheap and stylish - what more could you ask for? Anyway - Owen and I went there and had some lunch and then walked around the store looking for some shelving units for my family room! After about 2 hours I settled on the item I had originally come there thinking about LOL Doesn't it always happen like that? I explored all my options and went with my 1st thought. Let me just say though, my little man deserves a GOLD MEDAL after that shopping trip!! He was trooper!! He was probably sitting in that little cart for like 2.5 hours and didnt' fuss at all! AND it was during what was suppose to be his nap time! How awesome is that??? He's such a good boy :) :)<br /><br />I brought him home for a nap after our shopping trip and left him with his daddy so I could continue running errands. I got my oil changed, went to Michaels and found some nice frames for the family pics we had taken months ago, went to Target and loaded up on all that "stuff" you put in the back of your mind of wanting/needing but don't really want to make a seperate to Target for, and stopped by Sams Club. Needless to say, I was EXHAUSTED by the time I got him. I ate dinner, read my book, took a bath, and went to bed. AMAZING!<br /><br />Sunday, I got up with Owen at like 7, ate waffles, played, and got ready for church. Church was just awesome. I really love this new parish we joined. I wake up on Sunday excited about going and walk away from there feeling energized, excited, loved, and full of joy. This is a completely new feeling for me - I am so used to avoiding church at all costs and walking away confused. But not at The Park! Kerry (our pastor) is just so relatable. He is all for admitting his mistakes and relating them to his weekly message. He's all about making sure we feel connected and plugged in (his key phrase!!) to the church. He makes me want to get involved and get excited about God again! And for that I can't thank him enough!<br /><br />After church, it was home to lay Owen down for a nap. Andrew laid down too (he hadn't been feeling good all week) and I settled in to the couch to finally watch my DVRd episode of True Blood and read my book. I ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour. LOVE IT. How awesome are Sunday afternoon naps?? I mean seriously! Owen woke up about 1:30, we ate lunch, played, woke daddy up, and then I ran to the grocery. It was my quickest grocery trip ever! 15 minutes - in out and done. My parents came over about 530-6ish for dinner. We ate hamburger rice casserole, green beans, biscuits, and cherry chip bundt cake for dessert. YUMMMMM. Then my dad and Andrew hung some pictures of me and my new shelves - which look so awesome :) I'm so excited about them! We watched 50 First Dates and Amazing Race and then the rents went home. I relaxed, read my book and went to bed!<br /><br />What a good weekend :) :)<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-9115201529198597382009-02-24T20:45:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:38:38.269-04:00Breaking PointThat's it.<br /><br />I'm here.<br /><br />I'm broken.<br /><br />I am so completely and utterly overwhelmed, over-worked, under-appreciated, and broke that I can't...take..... one...... more....... thing.<br /><br />Let's bring you up to speed shall we?<br /><br />As if our finances couldn't get any worse - we had to replace the brakes on the Passat this weekend. Midas is now $1300 richer. And what irks me is that I've been telling that husband of mine to take the car in for MONTHS now. MONTHS. Does he listen? No. Of course not.<br /><br />Speaking of my husband - could he show me any love? I mean, he has been great while I've been sick. I see that. He has taken on more than his fair share of the load with Owen. He's gotten up early with him to let me sleep, he's picked him up or dropped him off from daycare more than normal. But seriously, some chocolates every now and then or maybe some flowers would really help a girl feel loved. A backrub or footrub without being asked for it would be nice too. And don't offer it after you know I'm already pissed off at you. Offer it before I get pissed off. Draw me a nice bubble bath or make me my favorite dinner. This isn't rocket science - I do shit like this all the damn time for you. I'm tired. I'm tired of having this same argument every month. If you don't love me - move on. If you do, start showing it dammit.<br /><br />Work. Sucks. I can't take it anymore!! I am surrounded by idiots who can't tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground. I'm being called at home when I am sick to ask about paperwork that I've NEVER EVER FREAKING BEEN IN CHARGE OF! All because someone can't get over themselves to admit they did something wrong and fix it. Oh no - it's much easier to just blame Erin and make her look bad. Give her one more thing to worry about. Oh and while we're at it. I AM NOT AN ADMIN. Don't roll your eyes at me or the other HR Gen. because we get crazy busy during the week and can't make it to your precious "HR Project Work Time." GET OVER YOURSELF. It's filing - it will still be there when our urgent situation is over. We don't need you to schedule an hour every week for the entire team to kumbya around all-important you to do things you should be doing yourself. Sorry.<br /><br />Oh and I'm still sick. I went back to the dr on Friday. Got an antibiotic shot and a prescription for another round of anti-biotics. Stayed home Friday and slept. Did nothing all weekend but rest, drink fluids, and sleep. Stayed home Monday to sleep. Still sick. I'm about to rip my ear off.<br /><br />I'm sorry friends for being such a negative Nancy lately. I really just can't see smile anymore. I wake up in the middle of the night with a frown on my face. Seriously. My chin is all broken out because of it. Please don't stop being my friends. I need each of you right now because without you, I'd literally have nothing. So thank you for being my friend and standing by me in my bithcy-days.<br /><br />If you pray, please pray for me. If you drink, please drink a few for me. If you smoke, please smoke one for me. Or better yet, give me a call so we can all go out drinking and smoking together. I'm sure I'll end up praying at some point during the night.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-59683292348186918162009-02-23T20:44:00.000-05:002010-04-11T17:38:57.015-04:00Sick. Still. Seriously?I was home sick again today. Seriously? I mean I'm really really really sick of being sick. I don't seem to be improving! I've probably spent a good $200 on doctor's appointments, prescriptions, vitamins, tissues, etc. and nothing. Babysteps forward in regards to getting well. I still can't hear very well out of my right ear. It's clogged and hurts. I'm still exhausted. I did nothing but rest and sleep this weekend and I don't feel that much better. I stayed home from work again today. Woke up at 630ish. Went back to bed at 715. Slept until 945. Ate breakfast, watched tv, ate lunch, read, went back to sleep at 2. woke up at 5. As nice as this sounds, I don't do this unless I'm sick!! Right now it's 845 and I could seriously go to bed! In fact, I'm thinking about making my way there shortly. What is wrong with me??? I'm out of sick days at work so I can't stay home anymore. Help Help Help.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7610908967265169623.post-36523121040259071272009-02-19T13:32:00.001-05:002010-04-11T17:39:11.273-04:00A little thank you note.Thank you Mr. Mortgage company for screwing us over by mis-estimating our taxes and therefore making us paying you an extra hunk of money each month. Seriously. Thank you - you're the bomb.<br /><br />Thank you Mr. Government for not giving us any money back on our taxes this year. We are the image of your perfect all-american family - white, married, own a home, both work, have a kid, have a dog & cat, went to college, go to church, etc. etc. and how do you repay us?? Oh wait -you don't. <br /><br />Thank you insurance company for being such tight asses and making us pay un-Godly amounts in medical bills each year. Seriously, what do I pay you for each month? Oh thats right - to sit around and find ways to deny my claims. Awesome.<br /><br />Thank you day-care facility. While I love that you take great care of my child each day and love that you love him, I hate you and the $876 a mont you charge me. *Mwah*<br /><br />Thank you employer for not giving any merit increases this year. Really, I didn't need any extra money. Thank you also for not giving out bonuses - I mean I should be used to this by now shouldn't I? Thank you also for a lovely stock price of $3 - I should sold you at $55. Sweet. Oh yes, and thank you for putting me in this ridiculous spot right now of having to decide between you and the former management. It really does bring me pleasure to stress about this decision everyday and the consequences of my choice. Fabulous. Gold card. White card. Gold card. White card. AHHHHHHHHHHHH<br /><br />Thank you Andrew's company for outsourcing to India. You're awesome. NOT.<br /><br />Thank you Ohio for having such crappy weather. Thanks to you, I've been sick all year. Literally.<br /><br />Thank you stress in general. Because of you, I can't stop eating. Which of course is going to make me gain a million pounds which will stress me out even more. Yay.<br /><br />Thank you ppd. I'm still struggling with you 17 months later. You make my life a living hell and I hate you. You have turned what was/is suppose to be the best time of my life into the hardest.<br /><br />I know God only gives us what we can handle but I'm about at my limit.<br /><br />Love,<br />EMomEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03763244383762318665noreply@blogger.com2