Breaking Point

That's it.

I'm here.

I'm broken.

I am so completely and utterly overwhelmed, over-worked, under-appreciated, and broke that I can't...take..... one...... more....... thing.

Let's bring you up to speed shall we?

As if our finances couldn't get any worse - we had to replace the brakes on the Passat this weekend. Midas is now $1300 richer. And what irks me is that I've been telling that husband of mine to take the car in for MONTHS now. MONTHS. Does he listen? No. Of course not.

Speaking of my husband - could he show me any love? I mean, he has been great while I've been sick. I see that. He has taken on more than his fair share of the load with Owen. He's gotten up early with him to let me sleep, he's picked him up or dropped him off from daycare more than normal. But seriously, some chocolates every now and then or maybe some flowers would really help a girl feel loved. A backrub or footrub without being asked for it would be nice too. And don't offer it after you know I'm already pissed off at you. Offer it before I get pissed off. Draw me a nice bubble bath or make me my favorite dinner. This isn't rocket science - I do shit like this all the damn time for you. I'm tired. I'm tired of having this same argument every month. If you don't love me - move on. If you do, start showing it dammit.

Work. Sucks. I can't take it anymore!! I am surrounded by idiots who can't tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground. I'm being called at home when I am sick to ask about paperwork that I've NEVER EVER FREAKING BEEN IN CHARGE OF! All because someone can't get over themselves to admit they did something wrong and fix it. Oh no - it's much easier to just blame Erin and make her look bad. Give her one more thing to worry about. Oh and while we're at it. I AM NOT AN ADMIN. Don't roll your eyes at me or the other HR Gen. because we get crazy busy during the week and can't make it to your precious "HR Project Work Time." GET OVER YOURSELF. It's filing - it will still be there when our urgent situation is over. We don't need you to schedule an hour every week for the entire team to kumbya around all-important you to do things you should be doing yourself. Sorry.

Oh and I'm still sick. I went back to the dr on Friday. Got an antibiotic shot and a prescription for another round of anti-biotics. Stayed home Friday and slept. Did nothing all weekend but rest, drink fluids, and sleep. Stayed home Monday to sleep. Still sick. I'm about to rip my ear off.

I'm sorry friends for being such a negative Nancy lately. I really just can't see smile anymore. I wake up in the middle of the night with a frown on my face. Seriously. My chin is all broken out because of it. Please don't stop being my friends. I need each of you right now because without you, I'd literally have nothing. So thank you for being my friend and standing by me in my bithcy-days.

If you pray, please pray for me. If you drink, please drink a few for me. If you smoke, please smoke one for me. Or better yet, give me a call so we can all go out drinking and smoking together. I'm sure I'll end up praying at some point during the night.

Love,
E

Sick. Still. Seriously?

I was home sick again today. Seriously? I mean I'm really really really sick of being sick. I don't seem to be improving! I've probably spent a good $200 on doctor's appointments, prescriptions, vitamins, tissues, etc. and nothing. Babysteps forward in regards to getting well. I still can't hear very well out of my right ear. It's clogged and hurts. I'm still exhausted. I did nothing but rest and sleep this weekend and I don't feel that much better. I stayed home from work again today. Woke up at 630ish. Went back to bed at 715. Slept until 945. Ate breakfast, watched tv, ate lunch, read, went back to sleep at 2. woke up at 5. As nice as this sounds, I don't do this unless I'm sick!! Right now it's 845 and I could seriously go to bed! In fact, I'm thinking about making my way there shortly. What is wrong with me??? I'm out of sick days at work so I can't stay home anymore. Help Help Help.

*sigh*

Love,
E

A little thank you note.

Thank you Mr. Mortgage company for screwing us over by mis-estimating our taxes and therefore making us paying you an extra hunk of money each month. Seriously. Thank you - you're the bomb.

Thank you Mr. Government for not giving us any money back on our taxes this year. We are the image of your perfect all-american family - white, married, own a home, both work, have a kid, have a dog & cat, went to college, go to church, etc. etc. and how do you repay us?? Oh wait -you don't.

Thank you insurance company for being such tight asses and making us pay un-Godly amounts in medical bills each year. Seriously, what do I pay you for each month? Oh thats right - to sit around and find ways to deny my claims. Awesome.

Thank you day-care facility. While I love that you take great care of my child each day and love that you love him, I hate you and the $876 a mont you charge me. *Mwah*

Thank you employer for not giving any merit increases this year. Really, I didn't need any extra money. Thank you also for not giving out bonuses - I mean I should be used to this by now shouldn't I? Thank you also for a lovely stock price of $3 - I should sold you at $55. Sweet. Oh yes, and thank you for putting me in this ridiculous spot right now of having to decide between you and the former management. It really does bring me pleasure to stress about this decision everyday and the consequences of my choice. Fabulous. Gold card. White card. Gold card. White card. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you Andrew's company for outsourcing to India. You're awesome. NOT.

Thank you Ohio for having such crappy weather. Thanks to you, I've been sick all year. Literally.

Thank you stress in general. Because of you, I can't stop eating. Which of course is going to make me gain a million pounds which will stress me out even more. Yay.

Thank you ppd. I'm still struggling with you 17 months later. You make my life a living hell and I hate you. You have turned what was/is suppose to be the best time of my life into the hardest.

I know God only gives us what we can handle but I'm about at my limit.

Love,
E

Here I am!

I am a blog addict. I have a good handful that I check on a regular basis and truly enjoy reading what others have to say about life, love, kids, money, etc. So, I've decided to try this whole "blogging" thing out for myself. Maybe having a place to vent my frustrations will be good for me. Or at least save me from an ulcer.

So here I am! No guarantees on how good it will be but oh well :)

Love,
E