Andrew and I have been watching what we spend our money on pretty closely over the last couple months so we can figure out where in the heck it is all going and cut back on certain areas.
Well, I've figured out that I'm the problem. He will disagree I'm sure but I seriously am. In general, I think women tend to spend more money then men. Don't you? I mean, up until a month ago, Andrew wore the same pair of khakis almost everyday to work. Occassionally he'd throw on a black pair of dress pants but in general, he'd just wash the khaki's every 3-5 days so he could continue wearing them. Men's styles don't change with each season. They don't need to buy specific shoes to go with a specific outfit. No! 1 pair of brown shoes. 1 pair of black shoes and they are set! I on the otherhand run through clothes like no other. Especially in the last year! I mean I'm not the same size I was a year ago - I lost a bunch of baby weight over the summer but my shape is different after having Owen so I can't wear the same clothes I had before I was pregnant. Therefore, I had to purchase new clothes for work. And new clothes for "relaxing" Clothes cost money.
I notice that I end up picking stuff up to that I need - panty hose, hair gel, hair spray, new shampoo, face soap, face lotion, astringent, etc. that Andrew never needs! So automatically, I am taking out more from the family pot then he is!
Now, Andrew seems to always "want" or "need" the bigger ticket items. The game's, the blu-rays, the big tvs, etc. But those are things that last for a long time. Its not something you run out of, like shampoo. So he may get a big ticket item every couple years but overall, I think my "little ticket" items add up to a lot more than his big ones.
Also, I like to have healthy eating options in the house. I like having fresh fruit and veggies to eat. Andrew would probably live off of fast food, mac and cheese, pizza, and hamburgers if he could. Living off of fast food ($1 menu!) and mac and cheese would probably be a lot cheaper then the healthy stuff I insist on buying.
I also have more health issues then him. My immune system basically sucks so I always end up getting sick at least 2-3 times every winter which calls for a trip to the dr. This year so far, I've had an ear infection, a stomach bug, a sinus infection, and yet another ear infection. I've been to my primary care physician three times, urgent care twice, and an ENT once. I've been on antibiotics 3 times, pain pills once and herbal supplements twice. I'm also still in treatment and on medication of my PPD so I've been to see that doctor 3 times this year so far. And I'm in chiropractic care for my neck (which was hurt in a car accident over 10 years ago!) and have been to see him at least 10 times already. So, if you add that all up, I've proabably spent a good $800 on medical stuff already this year. Now, spring is coming and I've started taking a multi-vitamin and drinking OJ everyday so I'm hoping to avoid getting sick anymore. But still.
So you see, I'm the problem. I am the reason we have no money. What an awful realization to come to. *sigh*
Love,
E
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
My Son Ate Ketchup For Dinner
No, this isn't some funny chain email where you pick out your birthday and it matches up to a word, and then you pick out your favorite color which matches up to another phrase, etc. This is real life. My son ate ketchup for dinner last night. Now, before you go calling child services on me, here me out.
We made fish and chips for dinner (aka fish sticks and fries lol) and had tarter sauce and ketchup to go with. Well, I put some fish and fries on his tray sans tarter and ketchup. But he saw daddy and I having ketchup and of course pointed and whined at it until we gave him some. At first I really thought he would do okay! He stuck his fry in the ketchup and moved it towards his mouth ready to take a big bite. Out came the fry from his mouth, minus ketchup, but still very much intact as a full fry. This went on and on and on until the ketchup was gone. He then grunted and whined for more. After slight hesitation, I put more on his tray and told him that was all he was getting and needed to eat his fish. About 5 minutes later, more whining and grunting. I told him that he wasn't getting anymore ketchup and stood my ground. He then proceeded to throw his milk on the ground and refused to eat anything else on his tray. Nothing more I could do. He would not give in. So he ended up eating ketchup for dinner. *sigh* I am so getting the mother of the year award.
Love,
E
We made fish and chips for dinner (aka fish sticks and fries lol) and had tarter sauce and ketchup to go with. Well, I put some fish and fries on his tray sans tarter and ketchup. But he saw daddy and I having ketchup and of course pointed and whined at it until we gave him some. At first I really thought he would do okay! He stuck his fry in the ketchup and moved it towards his mouth ready to take a big bite. Out came the fry from his mouth, minus ketchup, but still very much intact as a full fry. This went on and on and on until the ketchup was gone. He then grunted and whined for more. After slight hesitation, I put more on his tray and told him that was all he was getting and needed to eat his fish. About 5 minutes later, more whining and grunting. I told him that he wasn't getting anymore ketchup and stood my ground. He then proceeded to throw his milk on the ground and refused to eat anything else on his tray. Nothing more I could do. He would not give in. So he ended up eating ketchup for dinner. *sigh* I am so getting the mother of the year award.
Love,
E
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Blah Day
Do you ever just have blah days? I'm having a blah day and I don't know why. I hate when I can't figure out what is bothering me. I also that I can't just accept an off day now and then without questioning whether or not my meds are working still and getting scared that I'm backpedaling in regards to my ppd recovery.
I guess part of my blah day is that another member of my HR team resigned yesterday. I love this girl uber much and hate to see her go. She is the sweetest person - always willing to help, always (almost) has a smile on her face and is so funny. I actually hired her a couple months after I started here so she has always been synonomous with our company to me. I honestly cannot imagine this place without her. It scares me. And with her leaving, it makes me wonder what I'm missing - should I be looking for a job too? What would I do? Where would I go? I hate hate hate starting a new job - I hate the pressure of being the "new girl." I hate not knowing anything and having to ask a million questions. I hate that people don't know who you are and therefore have no idea whether or not you're a "get it done" person or a "sit on your butt and be lazy" person. It's exhausting. Plus, you have no friends so you eat lunch alone everyday. I spent enough time being the "new girl" growing up because my parents moved so often. I guess I just don't want to do it anymore.
I'm blah because of the weather. I'm ready for warmth. This off and on crap is really getting old.
I'm blah because of the house - it's never clean! There is always something to do - paperwork to sort, bills to pay, sweeping to be done, laundry, groceries, etc. Grrrrrrrr. I can't wait until Owen is big enough to do chores. He was washing my cabinets the other day with a tissue - that was kinda cute. Maybe he's ready to help out? Wait.....hold up.....did that tissue have a booger in it? Oh great!!!!! Now I gotta clean the cabinets. Crap.
So anyway - just having a blah day. What do you do on a blah day to cheer yourself up?
Love,
E
I guess part of my blah day is that another member of my HR team resigned yesterday. I love this girl uber much and hate to see her go. She is the sweetest person - always willing to help, always (almost) has a smile on her face and is so funny. I actually hired her a couple months after I started here so she has always been synonomous with our company to me. I honestly cannot imagine this place without her. It scares me. And with her leaving, it makes me wonder what I'm missing - should I be looking for a job too? What would I do? Where would I go? I hate hate hate starting a new job - I hate the pressure of being the "new girl." I hate not knowing anything and having to ask a million questions. I hate that people don't know who you are and therefore have no idea whether or not you're a "get it done" person or a "sit on your butt and be lazy" person. It's exhausting. Plus, you have no friends so you eat lunch alone everyday. I spent enough time being the "new girl" growing up because my parents moved so often. I guess I just don't want to do it anymore.
I'm blah because of the weather. I'm ready for warmth. This off and on crap is really getting old.
I'm blah because of the house - it's never clean! There is always something to do - paperwork to sort, bills to pay, sweeping to be done, laundry, groceries, etc. Grrrrrrrr. I can't wait until Owen is big enough to do chores. He was washing my cabinets the other day with a tissue - that was kinda cute. Maybe he's ready to help out? Wait.....hold up.....did that tissue have a booger in it? Oh great!!!!! Now I gotta clean the cabinets. Crap.
So anyway - just having a blah day. What do you do on a blah day to cheer yourself up?
Love,
E
Monday, March 16, 2009
IRS
Oh IRS, how will I pay you? Let me count the ways...
1. Sell my liver on the blackmarket.
2. Hook it on the corner of 22/3 and st. rt. 48
3. Rob a bank
4. Sell all of my personal belongings on Ebay
5. Not feed my family for the next 2.5 months. A good diet, yes. Will my son and husband like it? No.
6. Stand near the highway with a homeless sign. Actually, maybe a "I need to pay my taxes so I can continue paying your mortgage" sign might work better.
7. Force my child into modeling since he is such a ham in front of a camera.
8. Ask for a nice big bonus check from work (hahahahahah riiiiiiiight)
9. Ask for an IOU from the IRS (hahahahahahahahahaha even funnier than #8)
10. Put it on a credit card.
11. Empty out our savings account.
12. "Forget" to pay our mortgage for a month. Hey - it works for everyone else right?
13. Get a 3rd job.
14. Leave my son home alone all day to save on daycare costs. 1.5 is old enough to stay home by yourself right?
15. Ignore the fact that I owe you money until April 15th and pray for a miracle between now and then.
Love,
E
1. Sell my liver on the blackmarket.
2. Hook it on the corner of 22/3 and st. rt. 48
3. Rob a bank
4. Sell all of my personal belongings on Ebay
5. Not feed my family for the next 2.5 months. A good diet, yes. Will my son and husband like it? No.
6. Stand near the highway with a homeless sign. Actually, maybe a "I need to pay my taxes so I can continue paying your mortgage" sign might work better.
7. Force my child into modeling since he is such a ham in front of a camera.
8. Ask for a nice big bonus check from work (hahahahahah riiiiiiiight)
9. Ask for an IOU from the IRS (hahahahahahahahahaha even funnier than #8)
10. Put it on a credit card.
11. Empty out our savings account.
12. "Forget" to pay our mortgage for a month. Hey - it works for everyone else right?
13. Get a 3rd job.
14. Leave my son home alone all day to save on daycare costs. 1.5 is old enough to stay home by yourself right?
15. Ignore the fact that I owe you money until April 15th and pray for a miracle between now and then.
Love,
E
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What do I wanna be when I grow up?
How long have we been asking ourselves that question? Since we were like 5 maybe? And how many answers have we all had to that question over the years?
"I wanna be a teacher"
"I wanna be a ballerina"
"I wanna be a policeman"
"I wanna be a business-woman"
"I wanna be a reporter"
Well, I have always had one consistent answer to that question.
I wanna be a mommy.
I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. I couldn't wait to grow up so I could have babies and take care of them. And now I am one. And some days I look at myself in complete awe that I finally got what I wished for.
But lately. Lately, I've been questioning if I am the type of mother I always pictured myself being.
Here's the thing: We only get to do this once. We only get one shot at raising our babies. It's not like we can hit the restart button and try again. This is real. This is important. This is not a dress rehersal.
So I go back and forth. Do I want to quit my job and be a stay at home mommy? Or do I want to continue working and be a working mommy?
If I become a SAHM, then my life would slow down. I wouldn't feel like I was always in a rush to get to the next destination. I could keep the house a lot cleaner, get laundry done faster, feed my family healthier meals. I could take Owen to the park in the spring and to the pool in the summer. We could go for long walks and jump in leaves in the fall or stay inside with hot cocoa and movies in the winter. We could build blanket tents in the family room or play legos in the playroom. I could teach him how to cook and bake and we could have fun painting and reading. I could join a playgroup or take him to the children's museum. Or the aquarium. Or the zoo. Or the library.
But am I the slow down type? I read blogs online like: cjane enjoy it, barefoot in the kitchen, and nienie everyday and just drool over the thought of being able to be like these women.
But I'm me. Am I like them at all?
If I stay a WM, then my life...well...continues on like it is right now. The negatives: I'm always going somewhere, coming from somewhere, or needing to go somewhere. My weekends are all about getting caught up from the week, not spending time with my family. Cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, sleeping. I'm never caught up - I'm always behind. My son sees me for a few minutes in the morning and a couple hours in the evening. The positives: I'm helping people. In HR, I get to make people feel better about their work, explain their benefits, help them get issues resolved. I get to make a difference in their lives. I'm making money. Money that we use to go on vacation, buy new clothes, have nice cars, go out to dinner, etc. I'm teaching my son the value of women in the workplace. I don't want him to grow up thinking a woman's place is in the home. I've always been about women's rights and having men see us as equals and by working and climbing the ladder, I can be the type of woman he can proud to have as his mom. A woman who is hard-working, determined, honest, self-assured. A woman who knows what she wants and doesn't stop until she's satisfied.
But what do I want? What will make me satisfied? What will make me happy?
When I was home with Owen right after he was born, I couldn't wait to go back to work. I needed the adult interaction. I needed the brain activity. I felt like the days crawled by because I couldn't really do anything. Andrew came in the door and I bombarded him with "how was your day, what did you do, here's the baby" Am I going to do that to him everyday if I decided SAHM is the way to go? Will I loose my ability to hold an adult conversation and end up asking everyone if they need to go potty or want some juice?
If I stay a WM, will I regret it? Will I regret the time I would have spent with my son? Watching him grow and helping him become a man? Will I miss out on this precious time in his life and look back wondering "what if?" Will I blame myself one day when he gets in trouble at school because I wasn't there to teach him better? Or will I thank myself because he's outgoing and smart and take the credit because I sent him to the best daycares where he got to interact with kids and start learning at a young age?
*sigh*
What do I wanna be when I grow up?
Love,
E
"I wanna be a teacher"
"I wanna be a ballerina"
"I wanna be a policeman"
"I wanna be a business-woman"
"I wanna be a reporter"
Well, I have always had one consistent answer to that question.
I wanna be a mommy.
I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. I couldn't wait to grow up so I could have babies and take care of them. And now I am one. And some days I look at myself in complete awe that I finally got what I wished for.
But lately. Lately, I've been questioning if I am the type of mother I always pictured myself being.
Here's the thing: We only get to do this once. We only get one shot at raising our babies. It's not like we can hit the restart button and try again. This is real. This is important. This is not a dress rehersal.
So I go back and forth. Do I want to quit my job and be a stay at home mommy? Or do I want to continue working and be a working mommy?
If I become a SAHM, then my life would slow down. I wouldn't feel like I was always in a rush to get to the next destination. I could keep the house a lot cleaner, get laundry done faster, feed my family healthier meals. I could take Owen to the park in the spring and to the pool in the summer. We could go for long walks and jump in leaves in the fall or stay inside with hot cocoa and movies in the winter. We could build blanket tents in the family room or play legos in the playroom. I could teach him how to cook and bake and we could have fun painting and reading. I could join a playgroup or take him to the children's museum. Or the aquarium. Or the zoo. Or the library.
But am I the slow down type? I read blogs online like: cjane enjoy it, barefoot in the kitchen, and nienie everyday and just drool over the thought of being able to be like these women.
But I'm me. Am I like them at all?
If I stay a WM, then my life...well...continues on like it is right now. The negatives: I'm always going somewhere, coming from somewhere, or needing to go somewhere. My weekends are all about getting caught up from the week, not spending time with my family. Cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, sleeping. I'm never caught up - I'm always behind. My son sees me for a few minutes in the morning and a couple hours in the evening. The positives: I'm helping people. In HR, I get to make people feel better about their work, explain their benefits, help them get issues resolved. I get to make a difference in their lives. I'm making money. Money that we use to go on vacation, buy new clothes, have nice cars, go out to dinner, etc. I'm teaching my son the value of women in the workplace. I don't want him to grow up thinking a woman's place is in the home. I've always been about women's rights and having men see us as equals and by working and climbing the ladder, I can be the type of woman he can proud to have as his mom. A woman who is hard-working, determined, honest, self-assured. A woman who knows what she wants and doesn't stop until she's satisfied.
But what do I want? What will make me satisfied? What will make me happy?
When I was home with Owen right after he was born, I couldn't wait to go back to work. I needed the adult interaction. I needed the brain activity. I felt like the days crawled by because I couldn't really do anything. Andrew came in the door and I bombarded him with "how was your day, what did you do, here's the baby" Am I going to do that to him everyday if I decided SAHM is the way to go? Will I loose my ability to hold an adult conversation and end up asking everyone if they need to go potty or want some juice?
If I stay a WM, will I regret it? Will I regret the time I would have spent with my son? Watching him grow and helping him become a man? Will I miss out on this precious time in his life and look back wondering "what if?" Will I blame myself one day when he gets in trouble at school because I wasn't there to teach him better? Or will I thank myself because he's outgoing and smart and take the credit because I sent him to the best daycares where he got to interact with kids and start learning at a young age?
*sigh*
What do I wanna be when I grow up?
Love,
E
Monday, March 9, 2009
Weekend Woes
So, my weekend basically sucked. How was yours?
Friday night was good - the BIL (brother in law) came over for pizza and some hanging out. It was nice to see him - he is so busy all the time that we hardly ever get to hang out.
Saturday was kinda lazy - slept in, played outside, relaxed, etc. Before I knew it, it was like 8 pm and I was still gross from being outside and had compltely missed meeting my salon friends at the bar to celebrate Allison's 21st bday - whoops! I owe her a drink!
Sunday. Sucked.
Owen didn't sleep well at all Saturday night and we knew he was sick because he has breathing really heavy and had a bit of a temp. So, Andrew stayed home with him when I went to church and grocery shopping. On my way to the store, I got a call from my dad saying that they were going to put our cat, Tess to sleep. She has been sick for awhile with diabetes and they had to take her to the emergency vet office Saturday because she wasn't eating or drinking. Turns out her liver was enlarged and her blood sugar was in the 500's. Not good. So rather than put her through more pain, they just had to her put down. I know it seems silly, but as I sit here writing I'm almost in tears thinking about it. I mean, the poor baby. She was our first cat. My mom didn't like cats until we got Tess and since then, between the 5 of us, we've had 7 cats. She was such a sweetie and absolutely adored my mom. My mom is of course a wreck having lost her kitty. RIP Tessy-Woo. We love you. Give Buffy and Annie our love.
Got home around noon, gave Owen lunch and laid him down for a nap. He only slept for like an hour and then he was up and completely inconsolable. He would not stop fussing and didn't want to be held, didn't want to eat, didn't want to lay down, etc. So we called the pediatrican and my dad (next best thing!) who both told us to go to urgent care. So, we packed up and off we went.
Sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. Right before we got in, Owen's fever spiked again so we gave him some tylenol. They finally called us back where we got to meet THE NURSE. Oh dear, THE NURSE. First, let me tell you that when we took Owen's temp at home it was only 98.8 degrees. Let me also tell you that he had just gotten sick that morning. He had a bit of a runny nose the day before but nothing to worry about. Moving on.
We proceed in to the examining room where THE NURSE collects all of our information and looks at Owen with a curious eye. It was a "there is something wrong with you" look. Well, no crap. He doesn't feel well. Thanks. We tell her about the slight fever, the cough, the tugging of the ear, the fussiness, etc. She needs to get a temp and of course wants to do it rectally. We strip him down and as she's taking it she goes "oh mom.....yeah, it's up to 103." WAIT - BACK UP!! WHAT?? First, 103?? Our thermometer at home said 98. She tells us not to use the kind we have and that we need to just take it rectally because of his history with having a febrile seizure. Second, "OH MOM??" whats that all about?? Oh mom my butt - dad is sitting all of 2 feet away! How come she didn't say "oh dad" like its somehow my fault that my poor child is in pain and suffering! It's all my fault that our thermometer sucks. It's all my fault that it got up to 103. Thanks alot lady. My therapist and I will have a whole nother topic to discuss this week - mom guilt and why I suck at being a mom. Awesome.
Next, THE NURSE counts his breaths and says he is up to 80 per minute. Woah. Crazy. Scary. She then says (to me of course because dad must be invisible) "anytime his breathing is over 60 in a minute you want to call you pedatrician right away" to which I reply "yeah we did, he said to come here."
"Oh."
THE NURSE then freaks me out because she is acting all hyper-worried and says "we need to move him to a closer room - I don't like having him all the way back here" Great. Freak me out. what's going to happen to him??? By this time, I'm feeling like a complete failure in the mom department and am worried out of my mind about my little guy. Maybe things would have been better if YOUR DANG OFFICE DIDN'T MAKE US WAIT 2 FREAKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!! *sigh*
We get moved to a new room where they hook this little thing up to his toe that measures his heart rate and oxygen level. Heart is beating like crazy of course because of the fever (170-180 beats per minute) but his oxygen is good. Of course, he hates this thing on his toe and is throwing a complete fit because he wants it gone.
THE NURSE rushes in with a dose of ibuprofen (knowing we just gave him tylenol) and says that the doctor wants him to have both right now to really work on getting that fever down. We're also trying to get him to drink apple juice or eat a popsicle. Apple juice = good. Popsicle = "stop trying to shove that thing at me mom! I don't want it!"
So we sit and snuggle for awhile until the Dr comes in. She is not as hyper as THE NURSE. Thank God. She says his left ear is infected and his chest is tight so we need to do a breathing treatment.
Flashback to last month. Breathing treatment at his pediatrican's office. 4 grown adults. 1 toddler. Lots of screaming, kicking, name calling, etc. And I'm not referring to the toddler here. *sigh*
So THE NURSE comes in with the breathing thing. I get up on the table and put Owen in my lap. Andrew attempts to hold his hands down. THE NURSE holds the mask over his nose and mouth. Craziness ensues. Screaming, kicking, crying, trashing. Someone passing by probably thought we were killing the kid. My word.
The Dr. also wants a chest xray. So, off we go to radiology. He screams through that too, of course.
THE NURSE comes back in, checks temp. It's still high. *sigh*
Dr. comes back in - says the xray looks okay so they are going to give him amoxicillian for his ear and send him home with an inhaler for the chest.
THE NURSE comes back in with inhaler, proceeds to talk to us like we are 5 years old describing how to use the thing.
Dr. comes back in - negates her first statement about xray. Tells us the chief radiologist looked at it and there is a little something in his left lung. Could be a bit of collape (WHAT???) or a bit of pneumonia. Oh, but don't worry -the amoxicillan will help. Thanks Doc.
THE NURSE then continues to insult our intelligence by treating us like we're 5. She tells us that we really need to stay on top of this because he's on the downward spiral and we really need to follow up with his pediatrican in 24-48 hours. Thanks nurse. We aren't bad parents - this freaking started this morning (i really don't think she believed us!).
THE NURSE also warns us that if Owen gets 1 more lung infection, it would be considered "Reactive Airway Disease." WHAT??? What is this?? OMG - a disease?? How did he get it? What is it? What will it do to him? Oh my....
People. It's asthma. ASTHMA. It was written on the paper they sent home with us. Are you serious? Couldn't THE NURSE just have said "asthma" instead of freaking me out like that? I swear! Did she miss the class in nursing school on how to keep parents calm and maintain a good bedside manner? She either missed it or she failed miserably.
Finally, we leave. Almost 5 hours later. Oh and it's Sunday night - all of the pharmacies are closed. Awesome. And we haven't eaten since lunch. We're all starving. Owen get's a cheeseburger happy meal from McDonalds. Mom and Dad get chinese. Shovel food in. Owen's off to bed, dad is off to find a 24 hour drug store. Mom wants to collapse. Dad find's said drug store about 30 minutes away near West Chester.
Side note here - do you remember the yummy pink medicine that we used to take as kids when we got ear infections??? Well, Andrew and I have been wondering where that has been since Owen hasn't gotten any yet. Turns out, it still exists. You just have to ask the pharmacist to flavor the amoxicillan cherry. For $2.99. WHAT?? I have to pay extra now for the yummy pink stuff, otherwise I get this disgusting white crap that my son refuses to take?? Whatever. Charge it.
While Andrew was tackling the great "Operation Antibiotics" I proceed to pass out on the couch. My inlaws got here about 10 - thank goodness for them. They are staying here until Tuesday to help us with the little guy since he can't go to daycare yet.
We give Owen the antibiotics and some more tylenol and off to bed we go. For 3 hours. At that point we had to get up to give him ibuprofen. Back to bed for 1 hour. Up to do breathing treatment. Off to bed for 3 hours. Tylenol. 1 hour, breathing treatment. See the pattern? Needless to say, I'm tired.
So I apologize if non of this post makes sense, it is 10:30 pm. I'm exhausted. And I'm trying to kill a few more minutes until I have to go in and give the little man Tylenol. And do this breathing treatment.
See you in 3 hours.
Love,
E
Friday night was good - the BIL (brother in law) came over for pizza and some hanging out. It was nice to see him - he is so busy all the time that we hardly ever get to hang out.
Saturday was kinda lazy - slept in, played outside, relaxed, etc. Before I knew it, it was like 8 pm and I was still gross from being outside and had compltely missed meeting my salon friends at the bar to celebrate Allison's 21st bday - whoops! I owe her a drink!
Sunday. Sucked.
Owen didn't sleep well at all Saturday night and we knew he was sick because he has breathing really heavy and had a bit of a temp. So, Andrew stayed home with him when I went to church and grocery shopping. On my way to the store, I got a call from my dad saying that they were going to put our cat, Tess to sleep. She has been sick for awhile with diabetes and they had to take her to the emergency vet office Saturday because she wasn't eating or drinking. Turns out her liver was enlarged and her blood sugar was in the 500's. Not good. So rather than put her through more pain, they just had to her put down. I know it seems silly, but as I sit here writing I'm almost in tears thinking about it. I mean, the poor baby. She was our first cat. My mom didn't like cats until we got Tess and since then, between the 5 of us, we've had 7 cats. She was such a sweetie and absolutely adored my mom. My mom is of course a wreck having lost her kitty. RIP Tessy-Woo. We love you. Give Buffy and Annie our love.
Got home around noon, gave Owen lunch and laid him down for a nap. He only slept for like an hour and then he was up and completely inconsolable. He would not stop fussing and didn't want to be held, didn't want to eat, didn't want to lay down, etc. So we called the pediatrican and my dad (next best thing!) who both told us to go to urgent care. So, we packed up and off we went.
Sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. Right before we got in, Owen's fever spiked again so we gave him some tylenol. They finally called us back where we got to meet THE NURSE. Oh dear, THE NURSE. First, let me tell you that when we took Owen's temp at home it was only 98.8 degrees. Let me also tell you that he had just gotten sick that morning. He had a bit of a runny nose the day before but nothing to worry about. Moving on.
We proceed in to the examining room where THE NURSE collects all of our information and looks at Owen with a curious eye. It was a "there is something wrong with you" look. Well, no crap. He doesn't feel well. Thanks. We tell her about the slight fever, the cough, the tugging of the ear, the fussiness, etc. She needs to get a temp and of course wants to do it rectally. We strip him down and as she's taking it she goes "oh mom.....yeah, it's up to 103." WAIT - BACK UP!! WHAT?? First, 103?? Our thermometer at home said 98. She tells us not to use the kind we have and that we need to just take it rectally because of his history with having a febrile seizure. Second, "OH MOM??" whats that all about?? Oh mom my butt - dad is sitting all of 2 feet away! How come she didn't say "oh dad" like its somehow my fault that my poor child is in pain and suffering! It's all my fault that our thermometer sucks. It's all my fault that it got up to 103. Thanks alot lady. My therapist and I will have a whole nother topic to discuss this week - mom guilt and why I suck at being a mom. Awesome.
Next, THE NURSE counts his breaths and says he is up to 80 per minute. Woah. Crazy. Scary. She then says (to me of course because dad must be invisible) "anytime his breathing is over 60 in a minute you want to call you pedatrician right away" to which I reply "yeah we did, he said to come here."
"Oh."
THE NURSE then freaks me out because she is acting all hyper-worried and says "we need to move him to a closer room - I don't like having him all the way back here" Great. Freak me out. what's going to happen to him??? By this time, I'm feeling like a complete failure in the mom department and am worried out of my mind about my little guy. Maybe things would have been better if YOUR DANG OFFICE DIDN'T MAKE US WAIT 2 FREAKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!! *sigh*
We get moved to a new room where they hook this little thing up to his toe that measures his heart rate and oxygen level. Heart is beating like crazy of course because of the fever (170-180 beats per minute) but his oxygen is good. Of course, he hates this thing on his toe and is throwing a complete fit because he wants it gone.
THE NURSE rushes in with a dose of ibuprofen (knowing we just gave him tylenol) and says that the doctor wants him to have both right now to really work on getting that fever down. We're also trying to get him to drink apple juice or eat a popsicle. Apple juice = good. Popsicle = "stop trying to shove that thing at me mom! I don't want it!"
So we sit and snuggle for awhile until the Dr comes in. She is not as hyper as THE NURSE. Thank God. She says his left ear is infected and his chest is tight so we need to do a breathing treatment.
Flashback to last month. Breathing treatment at his pediatrican's office. 4 grown adults. 1 toddler. Lots of screaming, kicking, name calling, etc. And I'm not referring to the toddler here. *sigh*
So THE NURSE comes in with the breathing thing. I get up on the table and put Owen in my lap. Andrew attempts to hold his hands down. THE NURSE holds the mask over his nose and mouth. Craziness ensues. Screaming, kicking, crying, trashing. Someone passing by probably thought we were killing the kid. My word.
The Dr. also wants a chest xray. So, off we go to radiology. He screams through that too, of course.
THE NURSE comes back in, checks temp. It's still high. *sigh*
Dr. comes back in - says the xray looks okay so they are going to give him amoxicillian for his ear and send him home with an inhaler for the chest.
THE NURSE comes back in with inhaler, proceeds to talk to us like we are 5 years old describing how to use the thing.
Dr. comes back in - negates her first statement about xray. Tells us the chief radiologist looked at it and there is a little something in his left lung. Could be a bit of collape (WHAT???) or a bit of pneumonia. Oh, but don't worry -the amoxicillan will help. Thanks Doc.
THE NURSE then continues to insult our intelligence by treating us like we're 5. She tells us that we really need to stay on top of this because he's on the downward spiral and we really need to follow up with his pediatrican in 24-48 hours. Thanks nurse. We aren't bad parents - this freaking started this morning (i really don't think she believed us!).
THE NURSE also warns us that if Owen gets 1 more lung infection, it would be considered "Reactive Airway Disease." WHAT??? What is this?? OMG - a disease?? How did he get it? What is it? What will it do to him? Oh my....
People. It's asthma. ASTHMA. It was written on the paper they sent home with us. Are you serious? Couldn't THE NURSE just have said "asthma" instead of freaking me out like that? I swear! Did she miss the class in nursing school on how to keep parents calm and maintain a good bedside manner? She either missed it or she failed miserably.
Finally, we leave. Almost 5 hours later. Oh and it's Sunday night - all of the pharmacies are closed. Awesome. And we haven't eaten since lunch. We're all starving. Owen get's a cheeseburger happy meal from McDonalds. Mom and Dad get chinese. Shovel food in. Owen's off to bed, dad is off to find a 24 hour drug store. Mom wants to collapse. Dad find's said drug store about 30 minutes away near West Chester.
Side note here - do you remember the yummy pink medicine that we used to take as kids when we got ear infections??? Well, Andrew and I have been wondering where that has been since Owen hasn't gotten any yet. Turns out, it still exists. You just have to ask the pharmacist to flavor the amoxicillan cherry. For $2.99. WHAT?? I have to pay extra now for the yummy pink stuff, otherwise I get this disgusting white crap that my son refuses to take?? Whatever. Charge it.
While Andrew was tackling the great "Operation Antibiotics" I proceed to pass out on the couch. My inlaws got here about 10 - thank goodness for them. They are staying here until Tuesday to help us with the little guy since he can't go to daycare yet.
We give Owen the antibiotics and some more tylenol and off to bed we go. For 3 hours. At that point we had to get up to give him ibuprofen. Back to bed for 1 hour. Up to do breathing treatment. Off to bed for 3 hours. Tylenol. 1 hour, breathing treatment. See the pattern? Needless to say, I'm tired.
So I apologize if non of this post makes sense, it is 10:30 pm. I'm exhausted. And I'm trying to kill a few more minutes until I have to go in and give the little man Tylenol. And do this breathing treatment.
See you in 3 hours.
Love,
E
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
This Little Light of Mine.....
Just went out.
Well, the weekend happiness has faded away. Things are back to sucking. Such is life, right?
For starters, I had to go up a bra size. Yes yes, I know - this is usually a good thing. But not when it's the around size, not the cup. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Awesome.
*sigh*
Second, our bank account has $18 in it. Until Friday. Awesome.
*sigh*
Third, my chiropractor just became out-of-network on my insurance, therefore I can no longer go to him. My out of network coverage is only 60% after you pay the deductible, which is $2000. Can't do it right now. So, all of the progress I've made on my neck is wasted. Awesome.
*sigh*
Well, it was good while it lasted.
Love,
E
Well, the weekend happiness has faded away. Things are back to sucking. Such is life, right?
For starters, I had to go up a bra size. Yes yes, I know - this is usually a good thing. But not when it's the around size, not the cup. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Awesome.
*sigh*
Second, our bank account has $18 in it. Until Friday. Awesome.
*sigh*
Third, my chiropractor just became out-of-network on my insurance, therefore I can no longer go to him. My out of network coverage is only 60% after you pay the deductible, which is $2000. Can't do it right now. So, all of the progress I've made on my neck is wasted. Awesome.
*sigh*
Well, it was good while it lasted.
Love,
E
Monday, March 2, 2009
Great Weekend!
I had a really great weekend and wanted to share :)
Friday night my sister and her boyfriend came over. We ate pizza, cheesy bread, and cookie sundaes and watched Don't Mess with the Zohan. What a stupid movie. I mean seriously - so stupid it was funny. I will never look at hummus in the same way though! LOL
Saturday morning I got up and went to Gymboree with my little man. We had a fun hour of playing, crawling, climbing, jumping, singing, and dancing. Phew! It was exhausing running after him for an hour! I worked up a sweat LOL But it was a ton of fun :)
After that we went to IKEA. I heart Ikea. Have I mentioned this before? I mean seriously, if I could redo my house using all IKEA stuff, I would. It's cheap and stylish - what more could you ask for? Anyway - Owen and I went there and had some lunch and then walked around the store looking for some shelving units for my family room! After about 2 hours I settled on the item I had originally come there thinking about LOL Doesn't it always happen like that? I explored all my options and went with my 1st thought. Let me just say though, my little man deserves a GOLD MEDAL after that shopping trip!! He was trooper!! He was probably sitting in that little cart for like 2.5 hours and didnt' fuss at all! AND it was during what was suppose to be his nap time! How awesome is that??? He's such a good boy :) :)
I brought him home for a nap after our shopping trip and left him with his daddy so I could continue running errands. I got my oil changed, went to Michaels and found some nice frames for the family pics we had taken months ago, went to Target and loaded up on all that "stuff" you put in the back of your mind of wanting/needing but don't really want to make a seperate to Target for, and stopped by Sams Club. Needless to say, I was EXHAUSTED by the time I got him. I ate dinner, read my book, took a bath, and went to bed. AMAZING!
Sunday, I got up with Owen at like 7, ate waffles, played, and got ready for church. Church was just awesome. I really love this new parish we joined. I wake up on Sunday excited about going and walk away from there feeling energized, excited, loved, and full of joy. This is a completely new feeling for me - I am so used to avoiding church at all costs and walking away confused. But not at The Park! Kerry (our pastor) is just so relatable. He is all for admitting his mistakes and relating them to his weekly message. He's all about making sure we feel connected and plugged in (his key phrase!!) to the church. He makes me want to get involved and get excited about God again! And for that I can't thank him enough!
After church, it was home to lay Owen down for a nap. Andrew laid down too (he hadn't been feeling good all week) and I settled in to the couch to finally watch my DVRd episode of True Blood and read my book. I ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour. LOVE IT. How awesome are Sunday afternoon naps?? I mean seriously! Owen woke up about 1:30, we ate lunch, played, woke daddy up, and then I ran to the grocery. It was my quickest grocery trip ever! 15 minutes - in out and done. My parents came over about 530-6ish for dinner. We ate hamburger rice casserole, green beans, biscuits, and cherry chip bundt cake for dessert. YUMMMMM. Then my dad and Andrew hung some pictures of me and my new shelves - which look so awesome :) I'm so excited about them! We watched 50 First Dates and Amazing Race and then the rents went home. I relaxed, read my book and went to bed!
What a good weekend :) :)
Love,
E
Friday night my sister and her boyfriend came over. We ate pizza, cheesy bread, and cookie sundaes and watched Don't Mess with the Zohan. What a stupid movie. I mean seriously - so stupid it was funny. I will never look at hummus in the same way though! LOL
Saturday morning I got up and went to Gymboree with my little man. We had a fun hour of playing, crawling, climbing, jumping, singing, and dancing. Phew! It was exhausing running after him for an hour! I worked up a sweat LOL But it was a ton of fun :)
After that we went to IKEA. I heart Ikea. Have I mentioned this before? I mean seriously, if I could redo my house using all IKEA stuff, I would. It's cheap and stylish - what more could you ask for? Anyway - Owen and I went there and had some lunch and then walked around the store looking for some shelving units for my family room! After about 2 hours I settled on the item I had originally come there thinking about LOL Doesn't it always happen like that? I explored all my options and went with my 1st thought. Let me just say though, my little man deserves a GOLD MEDAL after that shopping trip!! He was trooper!! He was probably sitting in that little cart for like 2.5 hours and didnt' fuss at all! AND it was during what was suppose to be his nap time! How awesome is that??? He's such a good boy :) :)
I brought him home for a nap after our shopping trip and left him with his daddy so I could continue running errands. I got my oil changed, went to Michaels and found some nice frames for the family pics we had taken months ago, went to Target and loaded up on all that "stuff" you put in the back of your mind of wanting/needing but don't really want to make a seperate to Target for, and stopped by Sams Club. Needless to say, I was EXHAUSTED by the time I got him. I ate dinner, read my book, took a bath, and went to bed. AMAZING!
Sunday, I got up with Owen at like 7, ate waffles, played, and got ready for church. Church was just awesome. I really love this new parish we joined. I wake up on Sunday excited about going and walk away from there feeling energized, excited, loved, and full of joy. This is a completely new feeling for me - I am so used to avoiding church at all costs and walking away confused. But not at The Park! Kerry (our pastor) is just so relatable. He is all for admitting his mistakes and relating them to his weekly message. He's all about making sure we feel connected and plugged in (his key phrase!!) to the church. He makes me want to get involved and get excited about God again! And for that I can't thank him enough!
After church, it was home to lay Owen down for a nap. Andrew laid down too (he hadn't been feeling good all week) and I settled in to the couch to finally watch my DVRd episode of True Blood and read my book. I ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour. LOVE IT. How awesome are Sunday afternoon naps?? I mean seriously! Owen woke up about 1:30, we ate lunch, played, woke daddy up, and then I ran to the grocery. It was my quickest grocery trip ever! 15 minutes - in out and done. My parents came over about 530-6ish for dinner. We ate hamburger rice casserole, green beans, biscuits, and cherry chip bundt cake for dessert. YUMMMMM. Then my dad and Andrew hung some pictures of me and my new shelves - which look so awesome :) I'm so excited about them! We watched 50 First Dates and Amazing Race and then the rents went home. I relaxed, read my book and went to bed!
What a good weekend :) :)
Love,
E
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